Whose Reflection?

For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. Romans 8:29


The "Imago Dei" in Latin means the image of God. So according to this verse, we are being "conformed", or we are in a molding stage. We have not yet arrived, but we are being transformed.

So what can this transformation process look like?

Well, I can only tell you through experience that the times my perspective has changed from the Jennifer I know to an unbelievable extraordinary perspective, it came through suffering. I wish I had something more for you, but I don't. I know this doesn't sound like your "best life" or your dreams of being a movie star coming true, not that either of those are impossible. All I can tell you is that if you seek Jesus in your place of suffering, you will find Him. You will actually do more than find Him, you will conform to His image. People will see Jesus in you and you will look different, act differently, and probably not be popular in some circles. In order for people to accept you, they have to accept suffering as part of God's will, and who wants to do that?

I have heard the stories of persecution of our brothers and sisters in countries where believers are dying for their faith. They are rejoicing till the end through persecution as they sometimes have to flee for their lives.

My good friend has a son who went to Greece recently to bring aid to the refugees. Let's just say, I was on the "emergency prayer team". When he came back, I heard first-hand stories of his journey and the testing of his faith to stand in the face of danger as he experienced verbal threats of his safety. In the midst of all of this, a man came up to him and said he had a dream the night before about my friend's son telling him about Jesus. One of the most memorable stories was of one person who was in their group. A seemingly lucid man charged at him with a weapon and he mustered enough faith to speak, "stop in the name of Jesus!" At this command, the man dropped his weapon.

Do people leave a missionary experience like this and come back home to complain about the worship music or the wrong flavor doughnuts? Probably not.

After hearing these amazing testimonies, I thought, am I really a disciple of Jesus? I am afraid to walk through my neighborhood to invite someone to church. I recognize we all cannot go on life-threatening missionary trips, but what if our mission field is here in our fairly safe country?

What if our calling is to suffer in our daily circumstances and still remain true and faithful to Jesus? I am talking about dealing with a difficult boss or co-worker. I am talking about loving your ex-husband or praying for a difficult spouse. What if we could do this and at the same time still speak about the goodness of God?

Maybe we too can be conformed to His likeness in the midst of suffering with a purpose to share with others our faith in a God that we believe in...even when.

Best Christmas Gift Ever

"...Well done good and faithful servant!" Matthew 25:23

Watching baptisms is like watching a high school graduation. You know this person has been through a journey to get them to this one point where they have decided to not just get wet, but to follow Jesus. Recently, I was watching baptisms at church. I always shed tears during baptisms because they remind me of my own baptism and it makes me think of the adventure that these individuals are about to embark on.

"Though none go with me, still I will follow. Though none go with me, still I will follow. Though none go with me, still I will follow, no turning back, no turning back."

This is a song I remember singing in the children's choir I was in at my Catholic Church. I attended 12 years of Catholic school and spent the majority of my life around Catholic missionary priests. My parents devoted most of their lives to supporting those on the mission fields. This looked like me riding my tricycle around the rose garden of the mansion where my parents would attend regular meetings for the Verona Missionary League. The priests would lift me on their shoulders and give me loving hugs and kisses. I grew up knowing I was loved.

When I left the Catholic church as a young pregnant teenager, I was scorned by a bad experience when I shared my sin in confession. I walked away feeling more shame and less hope for redemption. Looking back though, I never left God. He was always there. I also realized that my bad experience in confession was the best thing that ever happened to me because it inspired me to search for Jesus. The Catholic church was not bad, but the truth and relationship I needed to find were not going to be found in my 12 years of Catholic school. My journey of searching for truth around my salvation was only just beginning at that point. I walked away from the Catholic church knowing I was missing some major pieces of the puzzle. This is when I began talking to everyone...Mormons, Jehovah Witness...I was searching for those pieces. After many failed attempts to find truth like an Easter Egg hunt I showed up late to, I finally resigned to the contentment of raising our baby with my boyfriend just trying to survive.

However, eventually, our lives would intersect with my husband's coworker who would later invite us to attend the church with his family 20 miles away from our home. It was there that my eyes began to be opened to the truth I had been seeking so many years before.

Everyone's journey is unique and recently, the Sunday before Christmas, I happened to get front row seats to one young woman's decision to follow Jesus. She was the mother of a girl who attended my daughter's school a few years before. Something within me knew her journey to get where she was that morning was not an easy one. I guess that was what made it so beautiful. I knew God was pursuing her just as He had pursued me.

The Valley is My Friend

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

I have been through a few valleys. If you are a believer, you surely know what I am talking about. It's funny how every time I end up in one I go through the same thing. I get anxious. I panic. I close my eyes and try to pretend I am not there. Then as I hesitantly allow Jesus to guide me out like a child being dragged through a haunted house, I breathe my sigh of relief and move on to rejoice that I am no longer in the valley.

Enough is enough! I am done with running scared from valleys, fearfully and reluctantly trying to make it through the other side. Today is the day I will learn to make the valley my friend. Today I will embrace the valley I am in. Does that mean my heart will not race producing so much cortisol to send my body into bloat status? Of course not. I believe the fear is present to know that we are human and the beauty of the time in the valley is to walk courageously through it reminding yourself that even though you have been through this darkness before, it doesn't always mean it will have the same ending. Sometimes it is different. Also, sometimes the other side of the valley is deliverance into freedom from whatever scared you in the first place. Maybe Jesus is trying to loose the chains around your hands and feet that lead you to avoid your valleys, to get to the other side of your mountain top experience.

Do not let the fear of the valley keep you from the freedom Jesus has for you on the other side!

Do You Hear and See What I Hear and See?

Following Jesus is definitely a separate subject broken up into many lessons. If we look at the disciples and the many lessons they got in following Jesus, they did not all pass with flying colors. Some were better students than others, but sometimes they went home and didn't go to class. In fact, when Jesus went away, most of them scattered and even went back to what they used to do. Peter, the guy Jesus said he would build his church on went back to his old job of fishing.

Recently, I was wondering if God is standing in some room and speaking on a microphone and only those students who are there taking notes and listening pass the test.  Or, does He have individual messages that speak intimately to each one of us like a homeschooled student? I think the answer is both. I believe He speaks a general message that is used to unify us on a bigger playing field, but He also reserves intimate private details for those of us who stay after class.

I think about the sweet conversations I have had with my husband or children. Sometimes they share things that are only personal for us, but other times they share things that they share with everyone. I believe it's those personal messages that are spoken to only us that increase the closeness of the relationship. When we share the bigger messages that we receive with others, we are inviting others into the room with the teacher, but when we share those close and personal intimate conversations, we are inviting them into a view of how sweet He really is. It teaches others to look for the personal signs of His affection from the One who desires to know us intimately.
While out running today, I saw a street sign. It happened to be close to the end of my run when I was exhausted and hot. It was when I couldn't imagine running another block. "Hope St". Isn't this like our Abba Father to send us a message of hope just when we feel like we have nothing left? It usually comes when we are exhausted and feel like giving up. A friend of mine calls it a "ray of hope". She looks for signs that Jesus is still at work. She looks for ways to see that she is not alone and that there is a purpose for all that she is going through and that there is another side to the trials in this life. There is hope.

Multitasker

They say women are the best multitaskers. I must have been in the line for "super focus" a little too long and missed the line to receive my "multitasking" gift. This has not really come naturally to me. That is why I had two "only" children 12 years apart just so that I could focus on raising one child at a time.
Recently I heard a sermon by my pastor, called "A Days Work". He pointed out in Matthew chapter 9 all the miracles Jesus performed in one day! Wow Jesus! He was an overachiever! The two stories that kept resounding with me were the ones about Jairus' daughter and the woman who was bleeding for 12 years. I heard another sermon in the same week about these two miracles. It was pointed out that there were connections between these miracles. The year the 12-year-old girl was born happened to be the same year this woman who was bleeding contracted her illness. Coincidence? Nothing is a coincidence with God!

The combination of these two stories and the fact that I had heard them within the same week of each other got me thinking about my 12-year-old daughter who was born on the same year that it seemed my whole life was turned upside down. It was the year Jesus came closer and tore off every bandaid I had ever put on. He allowed my wounds to bleed and hurt. He allowed me to be humbled and He taught me to embrace the season I was in. This year for me marked the 12th anniversary of that year.

This year my husband took a job 3000 miles away from home that was supposed to last 6-8 months and we were not going with him. 12 years ago he and I separated because our marriage was broken. I know PTSD is a real and serious thing for men and women who have served in our country and I do not mean to lessen the severity of that. Jesus began taking some bandaids off a few wounds I thought had healed. Jesus is truly the surgeon of all surgeons because He sees our deepest needs and trauma.

In John chapter 4 when the woman at the well went to fill her buckets with water, she met Jesus. What she did not realize was that in an effort to get her physical needs met, despite her shame, Jesus met her where she was at and brought truth to her situation. He took her bandaids off. He let her fetch her physical need and in the midst of it, he met her with her spiritual need. Jesus is the ultimate multitasker. He allows us to go to our manmade wells to get the things we need, but it is there where we are met with something more than we bargained for. It is there we are met with an experience with Jesus that will last forever. The woman who was bleeding and the man who wanted his daughter healed were both seeking their physical needs to be met. Jesus met them there and gave them even more than what they asked for.

This is an idea that brings so much comfort to my soul. As I reach for my tangible needs in life, I am constantly met with my spiritual ones. It is where I meet Jesus every time. My physical need for my husband to be with me always brings me to a place where I see my greater spiritual need to be filled by Jesus every time.

Here are the two sermons I referenced above. Be encouraged!

https://madeforfellowship.com/sermons/a-days-work/

https://elevationchurch.org/sermons/get-out/

Roar!

"By the meekness and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you-I Paul, who am "timid" when face to face with you, but bold when away! I beg you that when I come I may not have to be as bold as I expect to be toward some people who think that we live by the standards of this world." 2 Corinthians 10:1-2

Paul, a disciple of Christ, the man who wrote most of the new testament said he could be both timid and bold. When I think of the man who went into towns and preached the word of God, was thrown into prison, beat, and shipwrecked I cannot imagine him as timid. Maybe I am alone in thinking this but the writer of the New Testament, former Christian killer, does not seem as if he has a timid bone in his body.

Paul states in his greeting that he clearly is coming from the perspective of being meek and gentle like Jesus modeled. He is not advocating violence. However, he goes on to say, if it is necessary like he thinks it may be, he will be bold. He makes it clear that's not normally how he is, but if he has to be bold, he will be.

This morning I had a conversation with my daughter about someone at school that made reference to her thighs being big. This girl didn't just say it but she went up to my daughter slapped her thy and said, "wow, you have big thighs!" After dealing with this kind of behavior since she was in the 3rd grade, my first response wasn't to do what any mama bear would do which would be to march to the school, talk with the administration or stalk the girl after school and have a word for her, in Jesus name of course. Instead, I responded in exclamation with, "are you kidding me?"

I couldn't believe someone actually said this to her. My response was not timid this time. Before I have always sat with her in her pain and let her vent her anger and hurt. This time I had bold words for her to speak. I told her if that ever happens again, I want you to respond, not in anger, but in shock like your mom just did, and I want you to say, "I cannot believe you just said that!"

I think we as believers can confuse the meekness of Christ with the times when we do need to speak justly, not timidly, but boldly like a lion. The goal is never to just be a martyr. The goal is to be effective for the Kingdom of God. Even Jesus went into the temple and turned over the tables of the merchants. There is a time and a place for the way we respond. Sometimes people need to be told they are wrong and other times God knows that is not the way they will hear truth. Instead, sometimes He calls us to be meek and says, step back and let me deal with them. I am definitely not advocating a movement of violence, but I am advocating that sometimes we need to speak up in a way people will hear us.

Homeschool For Real

When our daughter was younger she had been knocked down a few times from some tough social situations. I felt in every fiber of my being, the Holy Spirit nudging that she just needed a break. She needed a minute to catch her breath and be reminded of how loved and special she was. That year I homeschooled her. It was uniquely designed by God to give her what she needed so that she could continue her race.

"And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of this Spirit who lives in you." Romans 8:11

The hope is that if you have a relationship with Jesus, then He is living in you, and He will give you life. He will help you to rise back up.

So what does that look like? For my 10-year-old, it was a year of rest. After attending a field trip to the local aquarium, we found out that they wanted volunteers. Yes! They wanted 10-year-old volunteers with a willing adult! We signed up and before we knew it, we were touching sharks and sharing on microphones with crowds of people about them. What?!? I majored in business! I am definitely not an expert aquarist.

Sometimes, when we are willing to follow wherever the wind takes us, from here to there and everywhere, we may find ourselves doing things we never dreamed of doing. The year of volunteering and balancing homeschool also included helping my daughter self-publish her first comic book and finding a place to share it with kids in hospitals. It was a time of rest. It was a time of healing for her soul. God built her back up and told her how much he loved her and how special she was. I think we all need a little TLC from God at different times in our life. Sometimes we just need someone to say, it's okay to rest.

Just like my daughter, I have been on a journey of rest and of being reminded of how special I am and how loved I am by my teacher, Jesus. This blog invites you to have a front-row seat of some of that journey. Sometimes we get knocked down by people. Sometimes we get knocked down by our own bad decisions, but whatever the reason, at some point, we are all called to rise.

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